Last note, not dirty. This note, FAIL!

44 things. You know the drill.

1. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A protein shake (and no, that’s not a euphemism).

2. Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes, a close friend many times in middle school and high school, but it was platonic as platonic could be. Why we kissed in the hallways, who knows?

3. Where was your default picture taken?
DUD - Guilford County Democratic Unity Dinner - in the bathroom, alone, where I’m most comfortable at any public setting.

4. Who was the last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
Are you trying to accuse me of something here??? She was 19 and I swear she looked older in drag. Actually, I can’t remember, I may have been in a car with a two year old since then, and I swear he looked older in drag!!!!! (Okay, not funny. But to the two-year olds’ credit, he does look great in heels).

5. Can you play guitar hero?
I can play whatever kind of hero you want me to be if you give me an incentive and a few minutes to get into character.

6. Last time you walked further than a block?
Yesterday. The real question should be when was the last time I walked further than a block without tripping.

7. Name someone that made you laugh today?
My dentist. "Patches" came on while she was drilling me and we both reacted. She asked if she should stop so we could listen. Then we rehashed the entire plot of the song and got teary eyed.

8. How late did you stay up last night and why?
I am trying to create earlier sleep habits. I was asleep before 10 after a surprise phone call and great conversation.

9. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I could. I can. I have free will. But...nope. Staying here. There are times I think changing an external situation can spur growth, but right now for me, the need is to keep external circumstances stable and work a little more internally. Ahem....Speaking of working internally….

10. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
With some kisses, there are always fireworks. Floods too, but that is another story entirely.

11. Do you believe exes can be friends?
I turn friends into lovers and back into friends again. My affections are few, far between, and deeply rooted. Those individuals I have had serious relationships with are still some of the most important people in my life.

12. Do you like calling or texting better?
It depends on the situation. Text sex is hard. I need both hands for that. Just kidding. Those who know me, know dirty talk and dirty chat make me giggle, not hot (and one hand is more than enough).

13. How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
I don’t.

14. When was the last time you cried really hard?
If I’m hard, I usually have no reason to cry, but you might….like a baby for a bottle.

15. Where is your biological father right now?
Somewhere enabling my mother, no doubt.

16. Where are you right now?
There was a place, and the name of the place escapes me. When I can’t remember, it irritates me. Could be I can’t remember, could be I just deny. Subtitled: I’m on facebook singing the Bosstones.

17. What bed did you sleep in last night?
A soft queen, but ya’ll know I prefer a hard King.

18. What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Coffee. Hot and black like I like my…..coal. (What did you pervs think I was going to say?)

19. Who took your profile picture?
Some crazy queer (self portrait)

20. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
A bent over high school girl. Hey, she was petting an abandoned dog and really only her hand is in the picture, but that didn’t sound as interesting. (more legal though!)

21. Was yesterday better than today?
Yesterday was not great. Today I spent several hours on my back with someone in my mouth, dental dam against my tongue, and I left swollen, stretched, numb and almost $2,000 lighter….so it was pretty much like every Thursday.

22. Can you live a day without TV?
Transvestites? I can, but why would I wanna?

23. Are you a bad influence?
Words like “bad” and “good” are so subjective…why don’t we get together and you can judge my influence…

24. What items could you not go without during the day?
There are very few things I can't be without...I tend to not stray too far from lip balm and iPhone. Must keep moist and connected.

25. Would you share a drink with a stranger?
I will drink your drink. I will offer you mine. I'm always as willing to give as to receive.

26. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I only enter hospitals as a resident, not a visitor- much like jail.

27. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"book it, bitch"

28. What are you wearing?
A gas mask and a strap on. (okay...not really, but that is much more interesting than the truth.)


29. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Even once is too many, but ummm a few more than that. The best was when a cop found an open bottle of tequila in the car and I told the officer I was not drinking that, I had been drinking vodka all night. That was also the night my friend Squatch used all the milk for White Russians. I was hungry, and decided to pour a White Russian over Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which I can't stand to this day.

30. If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
At work - a very organized almost empty box, with many, many items in the "pending" folder. At home? not much....except about 100 pieces of spam telling me about lesbians that are perfect for me....in California.

31. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
exceptional, talented, fucked-up, clumsy, silly, squishy, amazing, clever, uncomfortable, fun, reactive, are some things I've been called that stick out for various reasons, but perfect - nope, and what does perfect tell you? I often find that the most charming things about a person are their imperfections.

32. What song is stuck in your head?
"Dominated Love Slave" by Greenday. It came into my head when I was putting together my Bingo outfit...because it's kind of southern and trashy, and well... I'm a dirty whore.

33. Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
There's really no one I want to knock on my window at 2 am, but I would have to opt for someone with lots of money, or a who's a hell of a fuck (preferably both).

34. What gets in your way of your sleeping?
I'm hoping a hell of a fuck and figuring out what to do with the wad of cash from my 2 am visitor.

35. Who was your last missed call on your cell phone?
Your mom, but she's here now.

36. Can you handle the truth?
I'm faced with it daily. I am still here, so I handle it. I don't always like it, but I try to be courageous in accepting things as they are and taking the steps to create more of how I want things to be.

37. What was the last book you read?
"Silly Goose and Dizzy Duck Play Hide and Seek". It looked cute and Hey! I can use it for role playing later. I HAVE to be Dizzy Duck because of the alliterative quality. You can be silly goose. Shit, it always goes back to a story about a duck.

38. Is there something you always wear?
A cockring.

39. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yeah, when your mom heard your dad pull up.

40. What's something that can always make you feel better?
The sound of a purring kitten, hot tea, the smell of rosemary, friends laughing...not all at once though. I may get over-stimulated, and we don't want that.

41. What do you want right now?
I know you want me. You know I want cha...

42. Look behind you, what do you see?
A past that I haven't quite escaped. I've got lots of baggage, but am lightening the load moving forward.

43. What's the nicest thing someone said to you today?
"You're such a good and tolerant patient, I could do dental work on you all day" Really, it doesn't take much to make me happy. I was ready to have 500 babies for my dentist right there. a little praise goes a long way with me.

44. At what age did you lose your virginity?
14, unless you count anal...but hey, who counts that?